Elderly and Ill Caregivers Looking After Elderly Ill Family Members

This is a tragic story about an elderly and ill caregiver, looking after an elderly and ill family member, and whether social services failed the two people, from the Friday, September 21, 1007, Toronto Star, Greater Toronto, Social Services, page A6:


WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY SEE FAMILY'S DESPERATION?
Murder-suicide raises questions about services for sick and isolated

Theresa Boyle
Staff Reporter

The day after the murder-suicide of a terminally ill man and his ailing mother, questions are being raised about the availability of support services for seniors, especially those who are sick and isolated.

Gerri Badcock of Neighbourhood Link Support Services, formerly known as Seniorlink, wonders how the family ended up in such a desperate place in their lives.

"How come nobody saw that they might need help?" asked Badcock, a director of the organization.

Pery Grupstein, who used the last name Stein, took his own life and that of his mother, Sarah in her 80s, on Wednesday. Percy, in his 60s, shot his mother and then turned the gun on himself in their apartment at College and Yonge Sts.

Family members, who are also elderly, said yesterday they were "mixed up" about the grim situation and too distraught to talk about it. They spent the day shuffling between the coroner's office and a funeral home. Sarah and Percy will be buried today in Pardes Shalom Cemetery, on Dufferin St.

Percy suffered from terminal stomach cancer and had only months to live. He had previously had quadruple bypass surgery and had survived breast cancer.

His mother used a wheelchair and was completely dependent upon her son, who got her out of bed, bathed her and dressed her. She suffered from diabetes and heart disease.

"How could that person go through a quadruple bypass surgery, breast cancer, stomach cancer and not have somebody notice that he's a caregiver for his om?" Badcock asked.

While heath-care and social service officials interviewed knew nothing of the Grupsteins' personal circumstances, they all said there is an array of services they could have tapped into. At the same time, these officials agreed there are not enough services and said it's not unheard of for isolated seniors to fall through the cracks.

"Your heart just aches for the terrible place that the family had come to in their decision-making, but I don't know what informed their decision-making, but I don't know what informed their decision-making," remarked Frances Lankin, president of the United Way of Greater Toronto.

"I do know that if people don't know how to get access to services that might help them that they can call 211," she added.

The phone service, provided by the United Way and Information Toronto, helps callers access health and social services in the GTA. For example, it can put them in touch with 47 agencies that offer programs for seniors. These services include Alzheimer's day programs, transportation and respite care.

"Whether seniors are physically frail or mentally frail, there are additional supports and services that are necessary to be in place in the community in order to enable them to live at home, with dignity, in as good health as possible for as long as possible. We know that our resources are stretched," Lankin said.

Badcock said it's a sure thing that there are other seniors in the city living in isolation and in need of health and social services.

"This is maybe a wakeup call," she said.

She said it's possible the Grupsteins were worried Sarah would be sent to a nursing home after Percy died.

"A lot of people don't want to even hear that," Badcock continued, noting that they can be stuck in rooms with up to three other residents unless they can afford a private room.

Camille Orridge, executive director of the Toronto Community Care Access Centre, said there are many ways seniors can hook into services available for them. Family physicians and hospitals often refer patients to CCACs, which in turn can assess an individual's needs and hook them up with services as in-home nursing, personnel support and social work.

She pointed out some people choose not [to] use the services.

"It's not always about the system having failed someone," she said.

With files from Michele Henry